When I was pregnant with Harper I would often get younger people telling me I was crazy and older people would tell me how they had their kids close together and loved it. People don't have kids this close together anymore. Everyone plans it out to a T because a lot of the time, we can.

The funny thing is, when your first kids are this close together you really don't know any differently so it seems really normal to me and the more these kids interact together, the happier I am that they are so close.

I was never too sure what to say when people would ask if Harper was on purpose. Beckham was on purpose. We got pregnant first try and miscarried that one. You can't help but wonder why the baby miscarried. I couldn't help but wonder if it was because of my birth control so I vowed never to go on birth control again and just be grateful for what God gives us at the timing he gives them to us.

The next chance I could get pregnant- I did. I was a nervous wreck after that miscarriage. See, my mom has had quite a few miscarriages, one being around 20 weeks (which is not a miscarriage anymore but that's beside the point). I thought I was destined for the same path and became a little paranoid that I would lose a lot of my babies.
When Beckham was 6 months, he seemed lonely. I told Mike we needed to make Beckham a friend- I wasn't cutting it. I didn't know if I would miscarry the next one (automatically putting the next baby behind 6 months) or if it would take awhile to get pregnant so we thought we would just "see what happens". Bam! Here comes Harper first chance it could happen, it did.
It wasn't until I was about 30 weeks pregnant that I really started believing I was going to have another baby. I tell you- miscarriages do a strange thing to your brain. But she is here. Alive and well and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

This past October or November I told Mike I felt like there was another baby waiting for us. At that point though I hadn't even had a period so it was totally out of the question to try timing anything. Mike eventually came around to the idea and we decided the next period I got, we would try. We then decided we would move in with my parents and decided we didn't want a baby while we were here so we would wait. A month later, I took a pregnancy test in the middle of the night (I'm famous for the middle of the night testing) and lo and behold, i was pregnant. I went to the doctor right away and I was 8.5 weeks pregnant. I was shocked. I had no clue I was even pregnant let alone that pregnant.

So were my kids on purpose? We didn't prevent them. I felt like these little spirits needs to come. I didn't know how quickly, but I knew they needed to come.
Call me a Duggar, but I don't prevent any children from coming to our family. If God thinks we can handle 5 under 5, then that's what we will do and we will love it and embrace it. I might change my mind later, but I'm not getting any younger so I got to get it done while I can.

The happenings

My Blogspot app stopped working and my blogging was mostly done through that hence why I haven't blogged in 2 months. Whoops!

These past few months have been a bit of a blurr.

Christmas was fantastic. We had some fun at the beach, racing AC racecars, rock climbing with my sister and her husband...and did some other things that I can't remember because it was too long ago.For Christmas Eve we usually

do a talent show but decided to try doing music videos this time instead. If I find ours on youtube, I will let you know. It is a worth a small gander. 

Mike found out right before Christmas that he got a job with LDS Family Services in Fountain Valley. Although he was applying for the San Diego office, I think in the end this will lead to some great opportunities for him. Over Christmas break we decided to check out some rentals and realized that it was just too much money to throw at rent when we wanted to buy soon so we took the staying with the parents route for a bit. 

When we got back from Christmas break it was down to a month to get our things together, pass things on in our callings and get things packed up. The month seemed to go by so quickly and so slowly at the same time. 

I was able to squeeze in a temple trip with my young women a little before we left. On my last Sunday there they gave me a picture of them and a ColdStone giftcard so we all went out for ice cream too. They are a great group of girls. It is so nice to have instagram and facebook now so I can keep up with what they are doing. 

Everything went well with the move and putting most of our stuff in storage. We have been here for a week now. One of my favorite things about moving back home is the fact that so many of my friends growing up are still around here. Kate and I have been friends since 3rd grade and we have been able to get together for little playdates and things. It is so fun to see her so often now. I am finding more and more old friends live around here still too. We also love that there is so much to do. We will never get bored. 

Harper has still been waking up around 5am which I am hoping will stop soon. She has taken about 7 consecutive steps, but I am still waiting for her to really take off. She seems pretty determined to beat her brother's milestones. Beckham is being a normal 2 year old. He talks A TON.He loves to sing his ABC's and sing in general. Even at church he will sing during the Hymns. He is a VERY busy boy but it keeps us all entertained. 

My Little 2 Year Old

There is something really special about your oldest child's first birthday. It is the day I became a mom and I can't help but wander down memory lane a little more than usual today. Every time I look at the clock, I think, "This is when they called me to come to the hospital to be induced."

"This is when I really started feeling contractions." and at 2:35 today, "This is when that 8 pound 12 ounce babe came into the world." He was a really good baby-except when he was teething. Harper and him have a very similar temperament except she has to fight for attention and he had more than he wanted.  He has always been very happy and very smiley. He is super outgoing too. He loves to say, "Hi" to everyone at the store and whenever we are on walks. As long as he is fed and is up on his sleep, he is an absolute joy to be around. Lately, he has really started to come into his personality randomly singing, "Watch me whip" and "Shake your booty" as he dances and runs around the house. When he is looking for things he will say, "Where are you? Blankey, where are you?" He loves to have screaming contests with Harper which drives me crazy because they egg each other on. He is pretty obedient for a 2 year old but definitely has his moments. He talks non-stop and finds it mandatory to repeat himself 32 times no matter how many times you answer him (I honestly counted once). He will often wake in the middle of the night asking for popcorn or pizza. And will randomly do roll call- he has to name EVERY SINGLE PERSON that he knows.

He says the cutest prayers where he prays for the playground. He LOVES going to the playground and asks to go every single day. He is starting to get an imagination so playing with blocks, cars, animals and airplanes is much more fun than before. He has just started to be able to settle down long enough to scribble. 

He is an absolute terror during Sacrament meeting. You bring toys-he throws them. You don't bring toys, he will whine and kick. You bring food-he throws it, you don't bring food and he whines and kicks. But we have seen some improvement lately and know that there is hope. 

Speaking of kicking-this kid is a baller. He can throw and kick better than any 2 year old I know. It is pretty impressive. He is into every sport just like his Dad.

He is one smart little guy. I think every mom says that though. He is all potty trained. He speaks really well and pretty clearly and NONSTOP. He has a huge vocabulary and picks up on a lot. He can count to 10 most of the time and knows all his shapes, some letters and calls everything green...but we are working on that. 

In the next few months we need to get him off his pacifier which is going to be a struggle for sure. 

For his birthday we did a little bonfire outside with hotdogs and smores and he opened some presents which he plays with everyday. For awhile I would ask him how old he was and he would always say, "Fourteens". He has since figured out that he is 2 though. He definitely is trying to act like a 2 year old with his fits about EVERYTHING and if he has food or a toy in his hand, you better duck-it is coming right at you. I will say though, he gets over those fits pretty quickly so I guess that works. 

He is not perfect, but we love him and he is sooo much fun.

Happy Birthday, Beckham.

Utah part 2

Mike's bro sent over some pics I had to share. We went to Jaker's with them and it had to have been the best Pumpkin patch I have ever been to and it was only 1$! This pool of corn was so surprisingly fun. We were in there for awhile. Mike and I liked it more than Beckham I think. I want one in my backyard now....if I had a backyard. 

Below are some great pics that Kevin and Megan took for us. Thanks guys! It is amazing how much cuter kids look with a good camera. 

Cousins were able to meet for the first time. These kids are 6 months apart. It is amazing how much of a difference 6 months makes in the beginning of life but will soon all be the same. 

Thanks for such a great time guys! It was so great meeting Benson and exploring Utah with you. 

Halloween

Halloween really hasn't been much fun since I was what... 12 or something??

I am starting to get back into the Halloween spirit since my little guy

I LOVE this picture. I LOVE his Elmo bucket we got at a consignment sale and how he won't let anyone take it because he knows it is the keeper of the candy. We went to the Boulevard to have Beckham trick or treat there. It was sooooo crowded. I am not sure we would go again, but it was fun to try. 

We went to my sisters for Halloween night to have the cousins together and her neighborhood is very lively. Eric just happened to dress up as a PE coach in the same colors so it worked out real nicely.



Paul has the greatest costumes and watching him dressed up so creepily and holding a baby so sweetly was so funny.
We spent Sunday with the fam playing games and having a haunted dinner. My parents are so good at throwing family parties. It has been a lot of fun. 

We went to Zoomars to a petting zoo where they let kids in a pin with a bunch of guinea pigs and you just feed them and hold them. Poor guinea pigs...this one accidentally got dropped a little :/

We spent one night seeing The Lion King. It was my 3rd time seeing it and Mike''s first. Those costumes are sooo amazing!! 

We also went to the airplane graveyard before we started our adventures. Over the past 1.5 weeks,- we spent over 30 hours in the car going from Palmdale to MV, back to Palmdale to Utah and back, Back to MV, to San Diego and back to Palmdale. The laundry took me 3 days to get it cleaned and all put away-it sure was fun though!

Utah Trip Part 1

We all of the sudden decided to take a trip to Utah to enjoy some crisp fall weather and see Mike's family. This trip was such a blast for a few reasons. 

1. It was spontaneous. There is something more fun about doing things on a whim. 

2. The kids handled the traveling so well. Mike and I were both in awe. We couldn't even talk about in because we were scared we would jinx it. We drove during their naps, let them run around for an hour and then kept on going. We thought for sure the hotel was going to be difficult since Harper still wakes up in the middle of the night and Beckham is really sensitive to noise at night-but he didn't even notice. 

3. We did things in Utah we have never done before. Utah has always been a lot of fun but when you have kids, you have to switch your mindset and start thinking outside the box of things to do. We got to do a ton of stuff we have heard about but never had done. 

4. We got to hang out with all of our favorite people! 

5. I got to wear my boots again and enjoy some nice fall weather. 

I won't give you a play by play, but I will give you some highlights. 

We went to This is the Place. We had never been there before. It is a little quirky. Mostly the workers. But we had a wagon ride, made some leather things, had some pony rides and beaded some necklaces. I especially loved to hang out with one of my favorite companions from my mission and her little girl and new baby!

 We went to Temple Square (What kind of Mormons would we be if we didn't??) All of these pictures are of Beckham because Harper was either sleeping or tied to my chest and it is too hard to take her out-Sorry Harp.

I don't think this kid has ever seen so many leaves

We took a little hike to Ensign Peak one morning with Mike's sister, Dana and on another day, we took a small walk through Provo Canyon. After, we went to Tucanos...holy cow, I love that place! It was soo good! 

We were really hoping to go on the Heber Creeper Pumpkin ride but turns out...we showed up to the Scenic ride full of old people :/ So frustrating but we (my cousin Lindsy and Mike's brother and his wife) ended up heading to Park City taking a little walk to the White barn, riding the trolley, getting some caramel apples and having some lunch at a cute little coffee shop. Definitely made up for the lack of Heber Creeper

A trip to the Marriott Center was a must and I was so glad my friend, Rachel could come with us! 

Young Womens

Being in young womens has definitely been the hardest most time consuming calling I have ever had. Getting placed in this calling was a complete shock and a little unwlecomed. I am a little too selfish with my time and energy and I was already having a hard time giving up Mike to his time-consuming calling. Serves me right I guess. 

It really surprises me how in just a few seconds we are placed into a calling and expected to be in charge of 30 girls. You'd think they would treat it more like a job and train you for at least a few weeks before giving up the reigns. But it doesn't work like that and there is a reason it doesn't work like that.

I have learned a ton already in my 2 months in this position already and I guess in the end, I am glad I wasn't "trained". Although I haven't loved trying to figure this all out with a very steep learning curve, I have loved the experiences that I have been able to have with the spirit teaching me and guiding me to what MY personal role is with these girls. We are all called for a reason and have very personalized things to bring to the table. The last lady in charge was so great at so many things that I am blatantly not. It becomes intimidating to fill her shoes, but I feel like I am really finding my niche.

1. I am here to make these girls leaders. I grew up with a lot of responsibility in the church. I learned at a young age how to run presidency meetings, plan and execute activities and work with adults.  I had the most amazing leaders that taught me these things that I now need to pass on

2. I am here to reach  out to some girls that perhaps have fallen through the cracks. This is something I didn't realize I was capable of until I found myself sitting in the car with a crying girl telling me about some really personal experiences and was seeking guidance. I never realized I was capable of this until another girl sought me out during church to talk to me  about her parent's recent divorce or when another young women came over to our house one evening just to chat. I am so amazed the love I have for these girls. I find myself up at night thinking about them and their needs. I am constantly on my phone texting them and writing in my calendar that I need to talk to so-and-so or go visit a girl or watch her basketball game or take her out to ice cream. It has been the most amazing experience to look outside of myself and do what my amazing leaders did for me. 

As I found myself talking to a crying girl that was constantly searching for approval from boys. I realized that she really needed to know that God loves her. Thinking about how to help her realize this, I made her this journal with quotes, talks, scriptures and questions for her to read and answer.  It turned out wonderfully.

I just want these girls to know that they are loved and cared about.

I am so grateful for this experience and the experiences to come.