Monday, April 27, 2015

A mom of 2

All in all, there are probably 3 things that have surprised me about this mom of 2 business.

1. It isn't easy, but it isn't as bad as I thought. I have been dreading the inevitable for weeks. I pictured my first few days alone with the kids with them both screaming, the house a mess and me crying in the corner. I am happy to say, I did not cry. I can't say the same for the kids but...Beckham cries if I don't give him marshmallows, so he doesn't count.
My first few days flying solo were not all that bad. I tackled some errands, park dates and a few walks.There are some moments that are a little stressful, for example: I went on a walk yesterday and the baby started screaming, so I picked her up from the stroller and Beckham starts running in the middle of the street. I am running after him while a car comes, the poor baby's head is wobbling, the stroller is rolling down the street (it has always had a mind of it's own) and once I get to Beckham he throws a fit, bites me and now I am carrying both babies across the street. I am pretty sure the person in the car was thinking, "Oh please don't let her have any more children." Or maybe that was just me thinking that....but hey, we all made it home alive and that is all that matters.

2. Nothing will ever be completely finished in a timely manner for a long time.  Laundry is half folded, dinner partially made. kids half dressed.... When poor Mike comes home, I tend to hand him the kids so I can run around trying to finish everything I started but never got done.

3. I am surprised with how motherhood magnifies your inadequacies. With Beckham, I struggled with my sense of identity.  I was no longer a teacher in Chicago with endless stories of classroom shenanigans, I was a mom who changed diapers, did laundry and if it were a really crazy day, went to Target. I fully embraced that new lifestyle  (after some time) but  have been amazed at how inadequate I feel now that there are 2. I think it might be because all of the sudden I need 2x's more patience, more love, more time, more planning and that learning curve just takes time. 

4. I have grown such a deeper love and appreciation for Mike. Mike has always been a very attentive, kind and thoughtful person. That is just his nature. He even forgave me when I forgot his birthday this year....yes, totally forgot it! But who has their birthday a few days after a new baby comes??? I mean come on.
Anyway, he is quick to ask what he can help with, quick to forgive or apologize and quick to say, "I'll do that for you." Sure, it might take him a few hours or days to complete the task (all depending on how much basketball is on that night), but he does it and I am so grateful for that. Although he has always been a good dad and husband, he has gone above and beyond since Harper was born. He took two weeks off work which I am sure was no vacation for him. He pretty much worked overtime. After playing with Beckham all day, he would be quick to take Harper so I could take a nap or get some other things done around the house. He has been cleaning, making meals and taking on both kids to give me a break and he has been on serious diaper duty.
I was reading a past journal entry when Beckham was born and was complaining about how Mike and I never get to really spend time together and when we do....we fall asleep. Let's be real, parenthood is hard and tiring and frustrating and I could definitely see how it would wear on a marriage. Being a parent has brought out a different side of Mike that I never would have seen otherwise. Seeing him in this light has only deepened my love and appreciation for him. Adding one more only made that love and appreciation grow immensely. I am so grateful to grateful for him. 
That is all for now...

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